what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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