They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
