i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize