Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize