would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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