a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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