I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize