he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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