I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize