I don't usually arrange sex via text message
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
