is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize