this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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