Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We have started to decorate penises.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
