Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
