oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
