That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
