Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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