Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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