She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
