Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
