K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize