I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
