69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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