Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
