I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
