and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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