when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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