Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
