tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
