I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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