he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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