Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my shit smells like andre
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
