when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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