Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
