instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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