i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
