She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
