He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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