Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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