Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
