How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
