At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
