I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
