Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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