i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
They took my balls.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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