i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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