Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
