We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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