Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
