Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
