...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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