Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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