Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
