hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
