i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm jealous of your bromance
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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