i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
