thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Randomize
