The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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