Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
