PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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