It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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