Someone shit on the floor
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
