if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
