You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
